He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
