My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
