We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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