I'm drive I can fine osifer
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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