i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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