who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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