I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
