your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
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