I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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