yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
