when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
