It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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