The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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