Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
