Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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