hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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