the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
