They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
