You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
