Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
