he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
