how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Randomize
