There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Randomize
