She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
