i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
