no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
