somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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