HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Text me some of your sweat
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
