felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize