oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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