So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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