ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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