why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
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