She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Randomize
