Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
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