I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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