I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
