I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
