doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
