So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
