it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
