It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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