you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
