definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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