I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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