i don't like sucking hair
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
