Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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