be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
