What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
