11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
