you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
