you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
