he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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