I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I believe in your delicious
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
