I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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