I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
