party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Don't make out with my wife yet
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
